On This Special Day

It was the day of my brothers party
Everyone was supposed to be happy
It ended up everyone was just sad
It all started when my mom yelled down the hill
"Come up to grandma's, we have something to say"
I knew it couldn't be good news on this happy day
As I walked up the hill
The suspense in my stomach started to kill
We walked in the house and stared into their faces
They all looked so serious as my mom started to say
"Your friend Ryan has been killed today"
I looked back at her with a confused and blank stare
I couldn't believe what they had to say
It was supposed to be a happy day
I started to think this couldn't be true
But I knew there was nothing anyone could do
I looked at my brothers and the tears started to flow
I knew I had to be strong for my brother's sake
I couldn't stop thinking
About all the fun times we had together
And all of the good memories all of us shared
It was no longer a happy day
I wish I had a chance to say good-bye
He was like a brother to me
He was too young to die
Sometimes I don't know why God does the things he does
But in the end I know he has a reason
Even though I'll never see him again
There will always be a place for him
In my heart.


"What if I say I'm not like the others
What if I say I'm not just another one in your place,
You're the pretender
What if I say I will never surrender."

Suspense & Annoyance

Well Misty I did watch harry potter tonight. it was as good as seeing it over the summer. we watched the ending a few times, only because it is so good. i also guessed that it is bellatreax (or however you spell her name) that Mrs. weasley kills. when the movie was over james and i discussed for about a half hour about how he just wanted to tell me about the book. i kept telling him to shut up. than he might've let something slip about it but i'm not sure, but i slapped his head anyway hehe. he said that the cool thing that she does is make it so that nobody really knows if they all die or not, than he tried to cover it up that he didn't say that so i'm not really sure. so now i probably should be in bed considering it's after 1 and i have to get up really early to spend 6 hours with you know who. anyway i'm sorry that you're the one she picks on now, well i suppose besides carla, poor carla, i think she gets it the worse. anyway i know how it goes. i hope it works out for both of us to our favor so she doesn't end up screwing us over. did you ever notice that with her it's always got to be about her...i did this and i'm doing that and i'm gonna do that and i don't have time for anything and i'm very stressed and i got all this stuff done today because nobody else does anything. anyway c-ya sat. and we can vent some more. oh yea i forgot to ask you if your daughter's feeling better?

Well another week goes by in my dull life. I think that it has come down to us selling one or both our dogs. Yesterday was the last straw James said. They went psycho again and attacked each other. We think this was the worse one of them all. Trying to separate them was even harder than it has ever been. In the middle of trying to separate them both my arms and my finger got in the middle of it. So now I have a couple bad cuts on my finger and bruises all over both my arms. But at least it's winter and I can wear my long sleeve shirts to cover it. The left one is the worst. If I move it in certain ways the muscle hurts so bad.

I suppose we knew it was going to come to this. We didn't want to have to but they have some major jealousy issues. What's weird is they are totally fine one minute and than bam the next they're attacking each other. Like right now they are just laying there and playfully playing with each other. We knew we weren't going to be able to take them to Illinois with us though.

We will probably start by selling the black lab because he came along after Cedric. And we also just stuck over $300 into getting Cedric neutered. Which was a big waste of money considering the only reason why we did it was to see if the attacking of each other would go away. Well, that didn't work. Besides, Tylee is the bully. Since he's a black lab he is always wanting the attention. If we're petting Cedric he will come right up and plow his butt into Cedric pushing him out of the way. He's also always chewing on stuff that he shouldn't. Like just recently he chewed apart a cardboard box and than puked in his kennel that night. The room smelled nasty for like few days after. He still smells though too, we have to give him a bath, but that is a pain.

I guess I would rather have cats anyway. In the future I don't think I want more than one dog at a time. I just hope that we will be able to find a nice family for Tylee to go to. A family that doesn't have any other dogs preferably.

A Slippery & Cold Slope

Well, I almost thought I wouldn't be able to think about what to write again. But after going to school this morning I can find something to complain about. I don't even like complaining, but if I need to write something in here once a week and all I can think about is complaining, well than that's what I'm going to write about than.

So, what was with the school parking lot and sidewalks this morning. You can't tell me that they do not pay someone to salt the place. You could barely drive around because it was so thick. Than to try to walk was even worse because not only did you have to worry about it being slippery but there was nothing but tire tracks so it was hard to walk period. Than walking up that hill to get to class you could barely even see the sidewalk because of all the ice and since you're walking uphill it makes it that much more dangerous.

If they won't even salt that parking lot and the sidewalks they must protect themselves against lawsuits or something than. If someone were to slip and hurt themselves I know I would sue. Even if I was driving and ran into another car or another car hit me I would still go after the school because it is their fault.

Since I'm already on the subject of complaining about school, what is with it being so damn cold in there all the time. For most of the time that I'm there I have a thick sweater on and I leave my coat on and I'm still cold. You can't tell me that they can't afford to turn the heat up a little bit. Some of the rooms it doesn't even feel like the heat is on at all. I hate being cold.

Anything I could think of

I have no idea what to write about anymore. I have a pretty boring life. All I do is go to school and go to work and I'm too broke to do anything else really. I've had a cold for over a week now and I can't stop coughing and I've been sleeping like crap because of it. I still don't know how I'm going to write my paper and I didn't even do my report on my book for history and I don't even care. I might've had enough time to finish the book, but who knows. I didn't even know how I was supposed to get 5 to 7 pages on something I don't even understand anyway.

My two dogs can be really annoying sometimes. If ones not being stupid the other one is. We had to get one of them neutered because they would go psycho on each other. I mean like crazy wolf dogs snapping and attacking each other. Well, we pretty much wasted $320 because even after the surgery they still do it. So I'm not sure if we're going to have to sell one or what. The black lab doesn't eat his food ever. Sometimes he will go three days without eating. And you can't tell me he's not hungry when he goes outside to go to the bathroom and I find him eating his own poop.

I can't wait for this coming Tues. because season six of 24 comes out and I'm really excited about seeing it because season 5 ended really good and in suspense for the next one. Than the week after that Harry Potter five comes out and I can't wait, I've been wanting to watch it again ever since I saw it in the theatre.....Yes I LOVE the Harry Potter movies. Also that day the Bourne Ultimatum and Pirates 3 comes out. I never got to see the Bourne one in the theatre so I can't wait to see that. Pirates the only reason I want to see that again is because Johnny Depp is just so awesome and hot. Other than that the third one was a big disappointment.

I wish that I didn't have to do two years of schooling here. I wish I could've just done everything in Illinois. I'm so sick of it here. I hate my job, my husband hates his job. At least the days are going by faster than I thought they would. I can't believe it's already December. In a couple of weeks I'll be 24 years old and I still have about 7 or 8 years left of schooling. To me that's a long time. I wish that I would've know what I wanted to do sooner, but I guess this is the way it was supposed to go.

Good Bosses Are Hard To Come By & I Hate My Job

I've had five jobs so far and have not had a good boss yet. When I first started working at the place I do now I loved it and it reminded me a little bit of working at the holistic clinic in Madison. I knew my boss and thought she was going to be really nice and fun to work for. Well five months into working there I found out some stuff about her and it turns out she's not that nice. And she is always saying nasty things about certain people behind their backs. Now I'm working there eight months and I'm pretty sure I'm heading out.

First of all, I thought my other jobs were stressful and draining, well this one definitely is the winner. And it's not even that hard of a job. Well, when you have a boss that lies to your face and lies about you behind your back, it's not the best environment to be in. Also, that job completely drains the energy out of me both physically and emotionally. I go in at two o' clock every MWF and of course my boss is there until 3:30 if I'm lucky, but she usually stays later because she does not shut up. For that first hour and a half I'm there I can not get anything done because all she does is talk. And most of the time it's about absolutely nothing. I don't even listen to what she says anymore. And she talks to me about this stupid Mannatech product which she swears by and is pretty much making me sign up and get it. When she talks about that is when it is the most draining. Sometimes she has to talk her way through doing things; that is when it is the most annoying. Than there are the days when I come in and she's got the whole kitchen area a mess with like five things going at once and she expects me to finish everything plus she tells me like five more things to do. She is always getting in my way and messing up the way stuff should be done. Thursday mornings are the worse I think because she is there my entire shift and she is always complaining about all this paperwork she needs to get done but all she does is talk. By the time I get to school on Thursdays I just want to fall asleep. Well my boss isn't the only problem at work.

Some of the customers that come in there are soooo emotionally draining it is unbelievable. They think I'm their frickin' doctor or something...."If I take this vitamin will it interact with this medication I'm taking". I don't fuckin' know I'm not your doctor (excuse the language). Than you get the customers that want to tell you their whole life story and ask you all these questions and what they should do for this and half the stuff I tell them they don't want to do anyway because it costs too much or they won't be committed. Well, that's like an hour shot of my work time.

Also I'm the only one that does anything around that place too. There is two other clerks there working with me. Well, one doesn't do her job very well, and the other is hardly there enough days out of the week to remember what she is supposed to be doing. I'm doing all this stuff and baby-sitting the other girls making sure I clean up after their messes. Than it's really annoying because the girl that doesn't work there enough my boss just adores because she's a Chiropractor Technician and she's really into the natural health field and she thinks she knows all this stuff. Well this girl is always forgetting to do stuff. When I tell my boss the important stuff, instead of mentioning something to the girl she just says oh, well she doesn't work here enough to keep up with everything. I'm just thinking, what the hell is she doing here than.

I thought school was going to be bad. I don't know how much more of this I can take. Well, I'm pretty sure I have a way to get out of there. Back when I first started school my boss had once told me that when it comes time for me to sign up for classes next semester that everybody will have to work around my schedule so that I can keep the hours I need. Well, it turns out now that my schedule is going to be totally different and have to take all afternoon and evening classes. Well when I told her I would possibly have to do that she's like, well I won't have any hours for you than, I need someone to work nights. Well, I was going to try to work out my schedule, but I pretty much couldn't and I didn't care what she said anyway. If my not working there for eight months and her promise to me that I would have hours doesn't count for anything than that's the last push. I don't want to put up with her shit anymore. I just can't wait to tell her that I won't be available to work the times she wants me to anymore. This is my life and school comes first and if she wants to be a bitch about it, well that's fine.

Cats

I think that I am definately a cat person. I have two right now, but when I get a house I plan on having like six. The one is very cudely and affectionate. Whenever I'm laying down watching a movie she'll come right up by me and do her little paw thing on my stomach and just make herself comfy and lay down. The cutest thing she does is when she wants attention she will go right up in your face and put her butt in the air and start twitching her tail and butt, it's very funny.

I've had her now for about three years. My mom says she was a stray, but I still wonder if she got her somewhere to replace one of my cats that died. She never used to be an affectionate cat either. She also used to be very energetic, but now she's more lazy. She also likes going outside to scratch herself on the pavement.

Whenever I go into petsmart to get food for the animals, my husband always makes us go look at the cats. I never want to because it makes me sad that they are there and I just want to take them all home. All of the cats that I've ever had in my life have been strays. They just must come to me knowing that I will take them in.

I always hated seeing stray cats crossing the streets. I just want to pull over and pick them up, but I know I can't. I used to think that I was a dog person, but after having my two dogs now, I definately think that I'm a cat person.